Philosopher's Song

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant Who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table David Hume could out-consume Whilhelm Friedrich Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as sloshed as Schlagel There's nothin' Nieizsche couldn't teach ya 'Bout the raising of the wrist Socrates himself was permanently pissed John Stuart Mill of his own free will After half a pint o' shanty became particularly ill Plato they say, could stick it away Half a crate of whiskey every day Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart `I drink therefore I am' But Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed