Three Tenors

Play this a few times: D-------0-2-0------- A-0-2-4-------4-2-0- E------------------- (Tenors warming up, same notes as above) Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Kermit: Scooter, Scooter! Go and get The Three Tenors, they're on in two minutes. Scooter: (knocks)Two muinutes Mr Pavarot, er, Mr Plac, er Mr Tenors Placibo: Scooter, close the door. Here, here, sit on my lap. You furry four eyed munchkin! I cannot resist you! Another Tenor: Placibo! Not now. You can't leave him in a room with a puppet for one second! Ah, remember the Seseme Street incident. Scooter: Er, I'll just tell Kermit you're ready Kermit: It's The Muppet Show! And here now on stage singing Aria Sixteen from Tossanini- Floyd: Ah, Kermit? K: Yeah Floyd? Floyd: We can't play this Oprah crap! K: Well what can you do? Floyd: Well I've got, all I've got is a Jewl song book. K: Jewl, oh, OK then. (Tenors stert to sing) I've never met, a man-ah like-ah you before You make me feel like a woman Oh and you touch my long blond hair, and read my poetry, the things you do to me I'm a young attractive blond who sing country songs To a lonesome country girl this city is tough It's all about the music, stop looking at my cleavage A Unlike Kasey Chambers I am pretty enough, I am pretty enough. (keep stumming A and ) Kermit, are we getting away with this? K: Absolutely! Old Heckler: Hey Stavler. Why are there three fat men pretending to be a blond woman? Stavler: Ah, 'cause their fat? Ha ha ha ha ha. What? Miss Piggy: Hey, you can't sing about being blond! There's only one blond on this show: Moi, Miss Piggy, that's right, Miss Piggy I've never met a frog like you before You made me feel like a pig slash woman When you point your duel resolution I triple E 1 3 9 4 P C video camera at me It's extasy (keep stumming A and ) Tenor: Did he get a nice shot of your kankles? MP: What!? Tenor: You know, the fatty deposites between the foot an the calf. MP: WHAT?!! Tenor: You know, the wrinkley, bulbous, fatty, discusting- MP: Alright, that's it oprah boy, HI-YA! K:Oh no! We've only got two tenors! MP: HI-YA! K: Oh we've only got one left! MP: HI-YA! K: We're all out of tenors! We've gotta find someone with extensive experience working with puppets- Scod & Yon: C'mon Gatesy Gatesy: No no no, it was a long time ago Scod: Gatesy we know you can do it mate Gatesy: No no way it was a long time a-(sucks it in) Billabonga! I'm a young magical swagman with a pet bunyip If you've seen that show it was a bit of a farce I was young I was in love I needed the money When you're in the public eye your past always bites you on the arse ______________ Bites you on the a___________rse