Intro:) I read the news today, oh boy, about a lucky man who made the grade And thought the news were rather sad, well I just had to laugh I saw the photograph He blew his mind out in a car, he didn't notice that the lights had changed A crowd of people stood and stared, they'd seen his face before Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords I saw a film today, oh boy, the england army had just won the war A crowd of people turned away, but I just had to look Having read the book I'd love to turn .... you .... on .... Wake up, fell out of bed, dragged a combed across my head Found my way downstairs and dranked a cup, and looking up I noticed I was late Grabbed my coat, and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds flat Found my way upstairs and had a smoke, and somebody spoke and I went into a dream Ahhhhh... Ahhhhh... I read the news today, oh boy, four thousand holes in Blackburn Lacanshire And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall I'd love to turn .... you .... on ....