Hotel Can’t Afford Ya by Apologetix From a dark desert highway, we pulled into the inn Rome called for a census, I was from Bethlehem Up above from a distance a star was giving me light My wife was heavy ‘cause her child was due We had to stop for the night So I stood in the doorway of Bethlehem hotel And I was thinking to myself "I hope to heaven they'll give me some help" But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away "There's a place around the corner though where you both can stay" Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya Such a lovely place but we're out of space Ran out of room and the hotel can't afford ya It's the time of year with the census here My wife was definitely gifted, that's what the Lord's angel said She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin Spent the night in the barnyard, cheap slumlord's rent Some night to remember, some night to forget So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife I said "They probably haven't cleaned in here since B.C. 65" Animal voices were calling for straw and hay Keeping you up through the middle of the night just as if to say… Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya Such a lovely place, but we're out of space Holiday rush and the hotel can't afford ya What a nice surprise for your silent night (Play next verse quieter) He was born that evening and shepherds came that night And they said "We're all just visitors here of the Holy Christ" And in an donkey’s manger, they found the boy asleep They started getting teary eyed so they went back to their sheep Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before "We're late," said the wise men "We had problems Christmas Eve We've been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East" Tabbed by Brian Mehlman