Slim Chance & The Can't Hardly Playboys

INTRO: Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had No matter how they picked 'em, everything they played was bad Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead SOLO Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that? Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star SPOKEN: Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one I say I ain't but a star I are Do they not know who we think we are? I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin! I think we need some of them whores dejours And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good) INTRO