This is a public warning Be careful when you are out We are having freaky weather There's alot of it about The terraces are swinging He's a monkey on the roof You've seen him on the telly So let me introduce your host tonight T.O.P.M.A.N He's naughty by nature On doubles and chasers He's a little boy racer Shooting guns on the high street of love In a crowd it's hard to spot him, but anonymity can cost He's never cheap n cheerful, He's Hugo and he's Boss He's riding through the desert on a Camel light And on a magic carpet, He'll fly away tonight Open sesame T.O.P.M.A.N Sees her in double Then pukes on the pavement Likes her all clean and shaven Shooting guns on the high street of love