When we got our redundancy, myself and the lads went on the spree A brand new passport in my hand as we took off for The Netherland Myself and Dinny and O’Dwyer and Scut at Schiphol we were all half cut We opened up the duty-free, the red lemonade and brandy And we jumped on board a tram O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam Our first stop was the coffee shop, in we went and we all sparked up Hashish from Pakistan, Morocco, Nepal and the Lebanon All the boys was rollin’ joints, they forgot to drink their pints Water pipe came bubblin’ around, took one pull and hit the ground Lads wake him if you can O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam Sunday we went to The Blarney Stone, Paddy Wynne had The Leinster Final on The Lily Whites and The Boys in Blue, the Majors and Taytos Over to Mulligan’s for the night, the bar was leppin‘ and the band was shite De Burgh, De Bono and De Wolfe Tones ‘til Dinny grabbed the microphone And gave us Van The Man O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam Macker sez while we’re here we’ll go and have a look at the kinky gear I said a quiet prayer I wouldn’t bump into anyone from Kildare Big dildos, blow-up dolls, snap-on tools and hairy balls Vibrators, whips and chains, zips and fanny ticklers God between us and all harm O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam Then we went for a midnight walk, all our eyes were out on stalks Gay bars, bordellos, models in the windows with no clothes Dinny he danced all night with a South American transvestite Everything was goin’ grand until Dinny tried to drop the hand There was pandemonium O The Weekend that we spent an Amsterdam The bouncer she was 5 foot 10 Lowland Heavyweight Champion She hit Dinny an awful box, the boys ran amok and wrecked the shop We could hear the squad cars getting near, it’s time lads we were out of here Dinny pulled up his tights and we disappeared into the night All together now one by one O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam Queen Beatrix she rides her bike, Rembrandt is hangin’ down in The Rijk Ajax, Heineken, Van Gogh, The Gargle and The Ghanja Monday morning we were all half cracked we dived into the Kaisergracht They fished us out, hosed us down and put us on the plane to Dublin Home to the Mammy again O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam