A fine romance with no kisses A fine romance, my friend, this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potahtoes A fine romance, you won't nestle A fine romance, you won't wrestle You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France I haven't got a chance this is a fine romance A fine romance, my good woman My strong, aged in the wood woman You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean At least they flap their fins to express emotion A fine romance, with no clinches A fine romance with no hitches You never give the orchids I send a glance No, you like cactus plants this is a fine romance