Intro: verse 1 I just bought me a greyhound ticket I'm gonna use it at 4 p m So you can call your secret love and break the news to him You thought your little romance was on the strict Q T So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. Divorce me C.O.D. verse 2 I won't be round to hear you cry Well I'm Texas bound and bye and bye You can reach me down in Dallas general delivery So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. Divorce me C.O.D. riff verse 3 There's gonna come a day gal when you'll be feeling blue You'll find that you can't pay your bills with a little I.O.U. This dynamite your fooling with may be T.N.T. So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. Divorce me C.O.D. verse 4 No need to fall down on your knees 'Cause I know all my A.B.C.'s Well I ain't no college professor ain't got no P.H.D. So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. Divorce me C.O.D.