Intro verse 1 Well, I went camping and I caught poison oak, Calamine lotion makes me look like a pink joke What’s so embarrassing is where I’ve got the itch I caught it going #2 hangin’ over a ditch Chorus It itches when I sit down and when the flame goes out I hope it’s gone before the venture girls find out Interlude verse 2 The phrase that we're known for is to 'Be Prepared' We’re supposed to play 'dead' when we see a bear I don't tell anyone but that's the craziest thing I've heard He’ll eat you up and make you into a turd Chorus If I see a bear I’ll try to be in a 'dead stance' But I’ll probably poop in my pants Instrumental verse 3 In all seriousness, you guys are really cool t’s noble and impressive we’re so proud of you Men of integrity, woman of honor In the same class as Neil Armstrong and Gerald Ford Chorus It’s something so commendable, you really should be proud I'm honored to perform for such a crowd Interlude Chorus It’s something so commendable, you really should be proud Give yourselves a round applause and make it loud. Ending