Intro I really was born at 9:29 AM on 9/29 You think I'm lying but I'm, I'm  being  dead serious Okay, I'll prove it Primeira Parte Well, who am I? I'm  almost 25 Can't remember half the time that I've been alive 'Cause half was in a cheap apartment And half was on the Eastside (Eastside) They said don't meet your heroes, they're all fuckin' weirdos And God knows that they were right Because nobody loves you, they just try to fuck you Then put you on a feature on the B-Side And who do you call when it's late at night? When the headlines just don't paint the picture right When you look at yourself on a screen and say "Oh my God, there's no way that's me" And I, I quit smoking, well recently, I tried And I bought another house, and I never go outside And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit Well, she told me She said, "Ashley, you gotta promise us that you won't die 'Cause we need you," and honestly, I think that she lied And I remember the names of every single kid I've met But I forget half the people who I've gotten in bed And I've stared at the sky in Milwaukee And hoped that my father would finally call me And it's just these things that I'm thinkin' for hours And I'm pickin' my hair out in clumps in the shower Lost the love of my life to an ivory powder But then I realize that I'm no higher power That I wasn't in love then, and I'm still not now And I'm so happy I figured that out I've got a long way to go until self-preservation Think my moral compass is on a vacation And I can't believe I still feed my fucking temptation I'm still looking for my salvation Refrão Soft and slow, watch the minutes go Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself Watch the minutes go Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself I think I have a confession to make I feel like (So we know you don't) I need to say that I was really born at 9:26 I saw my birth certificate, and I'm a liar And I'm a fucking liar Soft and slow, watch the minutes go Count out loud, so we know you don't Keep 'em for yourself