Intro verse 1 I was sitting in a diner with a girl named Flo She wouldn't say yes, but she couldn't say no She said, "Darling, can I get a middle man?" She was engaged to a fellow on the lay-a-way plan But she carried all her money in a coffee can She said, "Darling, can I get a middle man?" Bridge The cook looked over with a short order face Dropped a fork and he saw Flo's legs Straightened his apron and burned my eggs I got competition everywhere I go these days verse 2 Leaning on the juke box lookin' real good Like Natalie Wood on a Pontiac hood I said, "Darling, I think I need a little hand. Ya see, I've seen my downs, I've seen my ups I seen miniature dogs in coffee cups But darling I ain't never seen a middle man." Bridge Flo talked slow like real wet paint She said, "A middle man's there when the other ones ain't He's got a left handed manner that leans to the right Sleeps all day and keeps it up all night" verse 3 I got an aunt in Ohio and a boat that won't row Some veterans insurance and nowhere to go "Darling, can I be your middle man?" Bridge If I could get the money in that coffee can I could open me up a lemonade stand Send all the kids off to Pakistan Make Flo happy if I can Instrumental verse 4 Jerry Mahoney and Johnny B. Goode Are gonna buy me a house in Hollywood Darling, I think I got the perfect plan We're gonna save half a dollars and sell 'em to France Buy us a record and learn how to dance And darling, I'll always be your middle Darling, go buy a griddle Darling, I wanna be your middle man