Intro (2x) Everybody loves a nut the whole world loves a weirdo Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut verse 1 There was a hermit named Fred who kept the dead horse in his cave And everyone said to Fred Fred how come you keep a dead horse in your cave and he said well Everybody loves a nut the whole world loves a weirdo Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut verse 2 A Columbia man named Frank had a tiger named Hank He tried to put Hank in his tank guess what happened to Frank When they picked up the teets there and eyeballs And erected a tombstone that read Everybody loves a nut the whole world loves a weirdo Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut Verse Another Columbia fellow told queen Isabella I don't think the world is flat and now what do you think about that And she said you don't and he said no ma'm And she said he'd get out of my queendom and he said yes ma'm Everybody loves a nut the whole world loves a weirdo Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut