Cyanide And Happiness - The Railroad Man

verse 1 I wanna share a tale with you about am'rican dream when all the railroads were right on time and our nation ran on steam Behind the track and the railroad tyres a hero took command of connecting every town and he was called... the railroad man, The railroad maaaan The railroad maaaan, can you take me to San Fran Can you take me down to Tennessee and across the Rio Grande Can you take me up mount everest and then to disneyland Can you get me there on time, oh can you do it?... the railroad man Bridge > Uhh, guys? > - Sorry, that song's just too damn catchy > Now you're probably wondering why they called him the railroad man > - I think you explained it pretty well > Well, I'm gonna tell you why! verse 2 They called him that because he built the railroads and was male And they called them railroads cause they were like roads, except with rails His eyes, they say, were made of coal His toes were railroad spikes His train's at seven stars on Yelp And a billion facebook likes Bridge > That's right... a billion. > - What happened next? > Shut up kid! I'm the one singing! > - I wasn't singi.. verse 3 He laid up all the track you see, hooked up the USA And he could've kept on going if not for that faithfull day These two weird fellows came to town and invented human flight They called their ship an aeroplane and themselves the brothers Wright, the brothers Wriiiiight verse 4 C+ They said: Our planes can transfer man without the need for rail F+ Your industry is dying and your dreams going to fail C+ So pull up your slacks and pack your tracks and get on out of the town We don't need steam or steel beams to get ourselves around > Railroad Man was none too pleased about that. He said: Verse 5 Two Wrights don't make a right, mmh dang if that ain't wrong Hey that lyric ain't that bad, I hope it ends up in a song If god intended man to fly, we'd be born in a flock Those Wright brothers and their flight machine can go and suck a cock Those Wright brothers can sniff my biff, they can give my ass a smell They can lick my shaft, fore to aft and their plane can burn in hell > Excuse the language folks but that's what the Railroad Man said. His fucking words. Verse 6 C+ The Wright brothers they challenged him they said: you think you're great? F+ Can your steam train do a loopdyloop, without loosing their freight? C+ And if you do it we'll leave town and we won't ever come back But if you fail, you can take your rail and shove it up your crack Bridge > Naww, the hell with you Wright Brothers, the sky's for birds! > -And the ground's for turds, and you sir are the latter word. The railroad maaaan, can you rise to their command Can your train do a loopdyloop, can they do it all on land Wilbur's talking smack about your track, Orville's railing on your rails Can you kick their ass with steaming brass, and even still nail, the railroad man > Say, that was a pretty good train-sition! Huh, anyway... Verse 7 The railroad man he spent a month loopin up his track F+ Then he gattered up the townsfolk and he told 'em to stand back C+ The train it started chuggin and the looptyloop drew near The train it was America, its freight our hopes and fear C+ and everyone watched in silence, you could hear a needle drop F+ The train it went straight up the loop and right onto the top Bridge The railroad man was finished He knew he had his run The airplane beat him fair and square Am... And the railroad ... days were done Verse 8 But before he died he wrote a note for anyone that flies He wrote it all in railroads so we can read it from the sky So take a look there down below, written in the land You'll see the final dying words of... the railroad man! Outro the railroad maaaaan the railroad maaaaan the railroad maaaaan the railroad maaaaan > Damn you Wright Brothers!?