Intro verse 1 We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year verse 2 We wish you the best day ever And hope all your Christmas endeavors Are super-fun, amazing and clever And that your New Year's rocks too verse 3 Oh, come, tell me what'cha doin' All my relatives just flew in From Mexico and Jerusalem For the holidays verse 3 Both Christmas trees and menorahs It can be confusing for us When we break into a Chorus Of olé Olé And oy vey Oy vey verse 4 Good missions I'll give to Agents A through Z Carl, get away from that punch bowl I'm saving that for me Sorry, sir Verse 5 We wish you a Perry Christmas We wish you a Perry Christmas We wish you a Perry Christmas And a grrrrr New year Verse 6 I wish for a calculator Slash-Hindi-English translator To find a common denominator In both of my tongues Verse 8 Good wedgies I'll give To all of you nerds That's how I say "Merry Christmas" I ain't good with words Verse 9 I wish you would let me rule you In evil I'm going to school you I won't sugarcoat or fool you Your New Year's looks grim verse 10 We wish your every endeavor Makes this the best Christmas ever And we're all so glad that We are never mention fiiiiggy pudding