verse 1 Girl, I'm gonna take you on a date tonight So put on your sexy dress and meet me In my chambers by the firelight This night is gonna be the best of your life Oh yeah, the mood is right You look more beautiful than poetry can describe By the way, do you mind if Ninja Brian Joins us he's promised not to kill anyon...oh never mind It's a party of three It's just you and me and a psychotic ninja Every girl's dream, don't make sudden movements! (Good evening, would you like an appetiz- eugh...)(Oh, Brian!) Do you see what I mean? Nothing's more romantic than a murder In the second degree, you'll be convinced Though I'm sensing you're not totally on board with this verse 2 (Was it the murder thing? Yeah, i thought it might be.) Now it's after dinner and we're out at the club I'm grinding up against you and I'm starting to chub Oh you know girl, we're makin' it work While Brian goes completely fucking apeshit berserk There were 300 people at this club Brian killed 297, so that leaves us with a Party of three If human life were a keyboard he'd be gluing down Control-Alt-Delete Don't make direct eye contact! (Yo I'm the DJ! Who wants to da-? AGH!!) (OK Brian, we get it.) Girl you're looking at me Like your feeling sick, I'll take you home and give you vitamin P That stands for penis, nothing will come between us (Brian! Lay down a tasty bridge) BREAKDOWN Damn girl, we had such a great night It's a shame more bystanders couldn't have survived We're going back to my place where we're gonna make love At the moment of completion I'll release a flock of doves Let me lay the foundation of the state of our relations There's gonna be temptation then sensations of vibration Followed by the cremation of your sexual frustration Ending in the culmination of elation consummation There's just one thing I think I forgot to mention Ninja Brian's gonna be there giving us his full attention Cause nothing could be hotter than our sensual embrace With a ninja staring at us three inches from your face WOOOO!!! It's a party of three Welcome to my kingdom of Slamalot You are the new queen Please take your throne Together we'll rule this majestic bedroom alone (Oh, hey Brian!) I think we all can agree It's time for me to plow your fields and Sow the seeds of a new family tree We're young and free Come on, baby It's just you and me (...and Ninja Brian.)