Intro: verse 1: Lord above, protect me from my family Do not let them get in touch with me For I am bound to be a kitchen porter Sure is a convenient thing to be verse 2: I don't mind the sweating and the screaming Gimme a room seven foot by three For I have urgent business on the mainland It sure is a convenient place to be verse 3: Every evening when my shift is over Scribble around a eucalyptus tree It may not be the stairway up to heaven But it sure is a convenient thing to be Instrumental: