Be courteous, kind, and forgiving Be gentle and peaceful each day Be warm and human and grateful And have a good thing to say Be thoughtful and trustful and optimistic Be witty and happy and wise Be honest and love all your neighbors Live in a swamp and be three dimension Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant Be sure to stop at stop signs And drive fifty-five miles an hour Pick up hitchhikers foaming at the mouth And when you get home get a master's degree in geology Be pompous, obtuse and eat cactus Be dull and boring and omnipresent Look forward to things you don't know about Put a live chicken in your underwear Get all excited and go to a yawning festival (Ladies only) Never make love to Bigfoot (Men only) Hello, my name is Bigfoot (Everyone) Put a live chicken in your underwear Go into a closet and suck eggs