Adam: Take it away, Tripod - dermophilia {having sex with trees}, slagging off {another comedy festival comedian}, fish fingers, and the Iraqi Info Minister! Main riff: |----------------------------3-3--- |-2-3-2--3-2-----------------3-3--- |-2-2-2--2-2-----------------0-0--- |-2-2-2--2-2---2p0----2p0----0-0--- |-0-0-0--0-0-------2------2--2-2--- |----------------------------3-3--- riff Gatesy: In these uncertain times, riff My head's so full of noise pollution. riff With all these problems on my mind, riff It's so hard to find a solution. Yon: Why do men have breasts, And why don't they wear ties? Aren't they related, Tell me please. Scod: The media and politicians, Fill my head with lies. Tripod: And I can't see the forest, (let ring) For the trees... the trees... the trees... Tripod: Trees... mmmm... oh God... mmmm... riff riff Scod: Where was I? I just got distracted, riff Tripod: Oh yeah, I was in a quandry. Yon: I wish I was incisive, Like that other guy I know. An Adelaide comedian, I went and saw his show. Justin Hamilton, That sexy little whore. A He always leaves his audience, Wanting more. Tripod: He leaves... his audience... leaves... leaves... oh... Scod: Oh... not again... Gatesy: Leaves... Tripod: I need someone I can trust, Someone who's got it all sussed, See him rising from the dust. (let ring) In a world so cold and sinister, (let ring) Won't you help me, Iraqi Information Minister? (Play riff throughout fish finger solo) Scod: Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever, Tripod get multi-instrumental! Gatesy and Yon on the fish finger solo! (Scod keeps playing while Gatesy plays a drum beat on the fish finger box with the frozen fish fingers) (Gatesy starts throwing the fish fingers into the crowd) Scod: Okay... umm... now sing again... Yon: (To the radio listeners) If you're listening, that bit was really good. Gatesy: Yeah! Yon: Oh, where are we? Gatesy: (To the audience) Don't piff the fish fingers back! riff Scod: He's a man who trusts himself, riff Gatesy: He won't let his eyes deceive him. riff Yon: He talks such shit with absolute conviction, riff Tripod: You can't help but believe him. Yon: Oh, I think we're back on Justin Hamilton now. Tripod: I need someone I can trust... Yon: With his rough, dry skin... G & S: He's got it all sussed... Yon: It's like bark... G & S: See him rising from the dust... Yon: And his willowy arms... (let ring) G & S: In a world so cold and sinister, (let ring) Won't you help me... Yon: And his Japanese bonsai cock 'n' -balls... Tripod: Iraqi Information Minister?