There's a magical land I know A place where I grew up And I'd make a deal with the devil himself To see that place blown up There in that interesting land I know Where no one has a brain They all wear jeans that are acid-washed And yet they think I'm insane *pause* I would get down on my knees and service the Japanese 'Till I reek of old sushi but please Bomb New Jersey I would happily kowtow to my new leader, Chairman Mao I would even learn Chinese, just please Bomb New Jersey Bomb New Jersey Bomb New Jersey I would go tell Jong Ill Kim that they're making fun of him In a Kimchi-hating town that's known As New Jersey Better yet I've got a plan, I will convince Pakistan That India can be found somewhere In New Jersey New Jersey is a place where I grew up They pelted me with rocks and garbage I guess it’s tough to be a fruit in the Garden State And if you have a sexy girlfriend then they're doubly irate Oh I would climb a rocky crag and plant a Russian flag On a smoldering hole once known As New Jersey Oh it would be a tragic loss if both Bon Jovi and the Boss Are somewhere out of state when the Danes Nuke New Jersey It's a place named after a sweatshirt So what more can you expect, sir? And if you try to express you're individuality They will throw you to the ground And they'll kick you in the teeth Like they did to me The bombs go down on Morristown And Trenton's up in flames Newark we drowned then burned it down But Elizabeth still smells the same Many butts will breach on Monmouth Beach We'll erase Orange from site But before we leave this land I loathe I bid New Jersey goodnight