Grab the chair, boys! We've got another bucket kicker! Happy Birthday my olde friend It seems this horror show will never end Any moment's your last breath Here is to another day closer to death The cake is on the table And it is awfully bright 'Cos there's so many candles on top And you are so decrepit Your chest so tight When you blow them out your lungs are gonna pop And you cannot complain Each time you feel a pain Though you have arthritis and gout 'Cos when you start kvetching All your teeth fall out So have another cigarette Have another beer Raise your glass to one more year (gone!) Happy Birthday my olde friend It seems this horror show will never end Any moment's your last breath Here is to another day closer to death Your skin is so worn out and old All over your body it's saggin' Especially loose is your old caboose You're dragging it behind you in a wagon Well, you're an alcoholic And you're blind and deaf And you have Alzheimer's I bet You're too old to remember But you're too drunk to forget So have another cigarette Have another beer Raise your glass to one more year (gone!) Happy Birthday my olde friend It seems this horror show will never end Any moment's your last breath Here is to another day closer to death You're so old you smell like dust And now your bones begin to rust See that face, it's full of wrinkles So have another cigarette Have another beer Raise that chair to one more year (raise!) Happy Birthday my olde friend It seems this horror show will never end Any moment's your last breath Here is to another day closer to death Happy Birthday my olde friend It seems this horror show will never end Any moment's your last breath Here is to another day closer To your sweet death