I was born in Texas, my wife in Ten-nes-see / We had fif-teen cross-eyed kids, She said they looked like me. She one time weighed fif-ty ponds, Her height was five foot four. But / now she's grown so big and fat, She can't get through the door. (other verses) We used to go to picture shows To see the ladies fair. If I had my wife on the stage, We'd soon be millionaires. We used to go to sunday school,When the weather it was fine. And when they passed the c'lection plate, The kids all grabbed a dime. 3.The preacher got excited,And he cried "My sal'ry's lost". By crack, when I looked at him,Why both his eyes were crossed. He in- -vited us over to his home, Along with his folks to dine. I fell in love with the preacher's wife And he fell in love with mine. 4.He used to come a-calling, So I'd say, I'd head for town But I'd go down to the preacher's place And kind of stiick around. One night when he came home early, And a-feeling out of sorts He caught me loving up his wife Upon the davenport. 5.Finally when his temper cooled, He said, "I think it's time" Says I, "Ok old preacher boy, You've been home loving mine". He asked me how about a trade, I said, it suits me fine. He took my fifteen cross-eyed kids, And I've taken his nine. 6. About a month had rolled around, Since we had made our trade Me and my new wife strolling along, In the evening shade. I glanced toward our little home, I looked twice,Jumpin' Cane! There was that same old preacher man, A-sneaking back again.