Intro: I was walking with my buddies, And saw a few hot chicks, But, I wasnt interested in them, No, they werent the finest picks, But, then you caught my attention, From the window of the old folks place, Right away I knew I was in love, When I saw the wrinkles on your face, I came inside to meet you, And you hobbled right through the door, With your walker, Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore, I love it that your pubes are grey, And your boobs sag to the floor, Every time I take out your dentures, I know whats in store, Its time to clean your dentures, Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore, Young girls dont turn me on, Experience is a must, Especially when youre 4 foot 8, And your vagina collects dust, When we get to kissin, You wheeze as I get hyper, And I love it when you pluck your whiskers, As I take off your diaper, You ask me to change you, But, baby, that all depends, Pun intended, Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore, I love it when your knees give out, And you fall straight to the floor, Every time I spank that ass, You poop in your drawers, But I dont care at all, Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore, Many nights, well just stay in, Well eat applesauce and well watch porn, As I massage your hunchback, And nibble on your corns, Your bones are a creakin, And your arm flab gets me hard, But then the Alzheimers kicks in, And you dont know where the hell you are, During sex you love it, When I whisper in your hearing aid, I love you, Ethel, Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore, I love it when you call 9-1-1 when you get lost in the grocery store, And I dont mind you gave Stonewall Jackson a handjob during the Civil War, Cause Im so damn in love with my beautiful, 80 year-old whore