Odysseus

I'm gonna tell you this story that I once read About this cowboy who was a little messed up in the head For starters he went by this weirdo name of Odysseus Now Odysseus weren't no cowboy name But he sure could play that cowboy game An' he could rope and ride and he could throw a real mean discus Well he was headed home from some far-off land Like Mississippi or Texarkana He was tryin' to get to Ithaca in New York State Met this dude named Poseidon that almost drowned him But this chick named Ino came along and found him I... I didn't really get that part anyway Well he met this girl named Circe, you know She was all hot and bothered and ready to go She invited all of his friends on over for supper Turned his buddies into pigs and that's a fact stop So he made love to her and she turned 'em back I guess he was pretty good in the sack or somethin' Chorus SOLO Odysseus, why did you have to go? Odysseus, whatever did you know? Odysseus was hard, Odysseus was fast That cowboy could really kick some ass Well he wasn't really sure which way to head So for directions he went to the kingdom of the dead I ain't sure were that is but it sounds like Florida His mama lived there and she said hi He said no mama, I'm here to see this other guy She said well, you're a real find son, then, aren't you? Finally he found this guy that knew the way He said, "Now listen close to what I gotta say It's a long hard ride and you probably never even get there And all these friends of yours, they're all a-gonna die And all you're gonna wanna do is sit and cry?" And Odysseus said, "Now, hold up, dude... I make a left where?" REPEAT Chorus SOLO So he packed his bags and he saddled up And he was headed out of town past his little club And from inside he heard this chick band called The Sirens Well he wanted to stay and hear a few But his buddies said, "No, man, we gotta move" So he threw this big old tantrum then he got on back to ridin' When he got home all of these men were there Eatin' all the food from his Frigidaire And not just two or three, but like forty-somethin' They was hittin' on his wife and makin' a scene So he killed them all and got away clean Didn't even have to do community service or nothin' His wife said, "I been so faithful babe?" And he said, "Uh..., uh..., me too Except for that girl in that cave and a couple more And that beautiful woman on that island shore Anyways, baby, I been so thankful in my heart" REPEAT Chorus That cowboy could really kick some ass