I?m dreamin' of a white trash Christmas We'll decorate the mobile home There?ll be cousin?s kissin' and front teeth missin' And you?ll hear grandpa peein' in the snow I?m dreamin' of a white trash Christmas No Christmas card from my ex-wife I did get a subpoena though, our family tree is leanin' to the right And we'll all be playin' poker Christmas night "Ladies and gentlemen, one of the Three Wise Men on harmonica!" Lets pick out a few presents now" We're going to celebrate another white trash Christmas With Mad Dog wine and Miller Light And when our hound dog is howlin' through the night He says may all your Christmases be white "Oh, ah, pay no attention to that "all trespassers will be shot" sign That don?t apply to you Santa, Nice rack on Blitzen though"