Intro: Verse: When I'm watching TV, The girls are all I see, They're singing and dancing and acting and modelling, None of them would look at me. If I went to Jessica Simpson, She'd think I was an ignoramus, And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz, She'd say "get lost boy, I'm famous!" All the women 'round here, Have BO or they have rolls, and some lucky bloke right now, is probably hugging Beyonce Knowles. Pre-Chorus If I had Jessica Alba's number, I'd call her right up, and I'd ask her what she's doing at half past three, and then I'd ask her if she'd marry me, If I had Jessica Alba's number, I'd be the luckiest guy in the world, I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe, And then some dick would try to steal her purse, So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone and I'd say, "Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!" Chorus: