There's Viagra in the Water Original performance by the Four Bitchin' Babes Tab by Gosp. Gospex at Gmail dot com First attempt, so stand with me here. /---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just outside of Johnson city on a dark and twisting road In a Kenworth 18 wheeler with a heavy shifting load He was pushing through to Bingamton though the hour was getting late Buys his finest sons a mission to the pharmacies upstate He was on a holy mission, there were men who couldn’t wait It was twenty thousand pounds of Viagra He clocked 700 miles since he climbed into the rig Just another 25 or so would finish up that gig But the trailer hit an oil slick and down the hill did fly Till it landed at the bottom in the towns water supply It was instant rigor mortis what a hard way die --Chorus-- AbM Save your sons, DbM shield your daughters FM there’s Viagra in the water --END Chorus-- All over Johnson city people rising with the dawn They drank their morning coffee, took their showers watered lawns And who could have predicted all the changes up ahead? Men were getting up for work and women back to bed So many called in sick you would have thought a virus spread Down at the courthouse coffee shop stared in disbelief As a pack of thirsty lawyers started filling out their briefs But at the local college young men appeared much smarter No chromosomal mystery they simply studied harder Now water on the rocks is the latest party starter Save your sons, shield your daughters there’s Viagra in the water The Johnson city firemen they cursed their retched luck They could not get their fire hoses wound back on the truck Sprinkling holy water at a funeral father Ryan said… I know I’ve saved your souls but I’ve never raised the dead Would a couple strong men help me now close the casket lid? Old man Weisse just took the shower of his life Then he marched into the kitchen and he called out to his wife She knew something was up as he stood naked at the table Holding two cups of coffee and a half a dozen bagels It had been at least a decade since the last time he was able Save your sons, shield your daughters there’s Viagra in the water Believers seeking miracles the pilgrims came in hordes The waters of Viagra grew more popular than Lordes The clergy quoted scripture but they found it hard to sell Those who chose to be anointed were pointed straight to hell Despite the dire warning the crowds began to swell Some hardened politicians came into town one day With their permits and their pipelines pumped the waters all away From the heart of Johnson city came rose the mournful cry of men But the women knew another truck was coming through again Don’t worry there’s a truck next week, we’ll spread the oil again Save your sons, shield your daughters there’s Viagra in the water --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------/