INTRO Now I know I'm not handsome, no good looks or wealth But the girls I chase say my plain face will compromise their health . Now I know fellows worse than me bow-legged and boss-eyed Walking out with lovely women clinging to their side. Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Look at Empress Josephine, the most attractive women that ever was seen, Yet Napoleon short and fat, captivates a lovely looking dame like that Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Hey Hey Why dont women like me? Last night I went out walking, my intentions were to click But the sights I saw whilst walking out, they nearly made me sick. I must admit I saw some girls, attractive little dears Arm in arm with ugly men with cauliflower ears. Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? What can the attraction be, thats the thing that always starts to worry me. Al-though I havent got a bean, Ive got a lot of things that girls have never seen. Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Hey Hey Why dont women like me? Now I went for my holidays, down to the gay sea-side I saw a lot of things there being hidden by the tide The way the women jumped around the men there in the sea Made me think that there is still a good chance left for me Coz if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Of all the shapes and sizes there, Ive got a chance of clicking yes I do declare Though I don't want to be a nark, I saw a lot of things below the water-mark Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Hey Hey Why dont women like me? INSERT CRAZY SOLO HERE Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Take Lord Nelson with one limb, Lady William Hamilton she fell for him . With one eye and one arm gone west,she ran like the devil and she grabbed the rest. Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me? Hey Hey! Why dont women like me?