Intro: Arthur Askey and Douggie-Wouggie Bader went down to the animal farm Douggie bored a boar with his stories from the war And explained about the boil on his palm. Napoleon, very pink offered both of them a drink And a drink and a drink and a drink. Come the hour of four they were legless to be sure Not one of them had even had a wink of sleep. And everybody sang as loud as they could 'Two legs bad but four legs good' This made the boys feel pretty oppressed. Came the new realm it was A at the helm While Douggers played 'Luftwaffe' on the roofs. After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns And a signpost said 'Second Hand Hooves'. Years passed by, double grazing in the sty It was good but it was total apathy. Everybody arsed around and that 'beasts of England' sound Had been ruined by a busy, busy bee. And chants were heard from the East to the West 'Four legs good but no legs best' Invalidity reigned supreme. And chants were heard from the East to the West 'Four legs good but no legs best' One time visitors were now the regime.