(intro rpt) Well I heard a lovely rumour that Bette Midler had a tumour So gleefully I went to tell my friends But they said it was a lie and she wasn't going to die And by the way have we got news for you! And they told me that the man I had always known as dad Hadn't met my mum when I was born And they reckon that I am but I hope to god I'm not The bastard son of Dean Friedman rpt) The bastard son of Dean Friedman. And my school work fell behind with this bombshell on my mind But the art teacher said he understood But he could only sympathise with the sadness in my eyes Even though he showed me his Magritte. And in the corridors of fear I would shed a lonely tear As ridicule flew at me from both sides And they mocked me in my Mocks and embroidered in my socks The bastard son of Dean Friedman rpt) The bastard son of Dean Friedman. rpt) Supercallifragilistic Borussia Moenchen Gladbach And you can thank your lucky stars that you're Not the bastard son of Dean Friedman The bastard son of Dean Friedman