Intro: Unemployments rising In the Chigley end of town And it's speading like pneumonia; Doesn't look like going down. There's trouble at the fire station; Someone's had the sack. And the lads have organised a scheme To get rid of Captain Flack. Tell PC McGarry To get himself a mate. And arm themselves with C.S.Gas They're gonna be out late. We've had Kant conformism since 1966. And now subversions in the air In the shape of flying bricks! Someone get a message through To Captain Snort That they better start assembling The boys from the fort. Keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight, 'Cause there's gonna be riot Down in Trumpton Tonight. All this aristocracy Has really got to stop. We'll overthrow the surgery And kidnap Doctor Mop And Chigley Militant Socialists Will storm the market square And make plans to assasinate Our autocratic mayor! Windy Militant rages past With Corn grinders to war With windmill sails and bombs with nails They smash the town hall door. But Snorty and the boys arrive With one big erstwhile crew Whereupon they bring about A military coup.