The Auctioneer

There was a boy in Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma When she told him that he should go to school. He'd sneak away in the afternoon, take a little walk then pretty soon You'd find him at the local auction barn. Well he'd stand and listen carefully then pretty soon he began to see How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly. He said, "Oh my, it's do or die I've got to learn that auction cry Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer" 25 dollar bidder, now 30 dollar, 30 will he give me 30 Make it 30, bid it up on a 30 dollar, will he give me 30 Who will bid it at a 30 dollar bid? 30 dollar bidder, now 35, will he give me 35 To make it a 35, a bid at a 35, Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid? As time went on he did his best and all could see he didn't jest, He practiced callin' bids both night and day. His pappa would find him behind the barn, Just a workin up an awful storm, As he tried to imitate the auctioneer. Then his pappa said, "Son we just can't stand to have a mediocre man, Selling things at auction usin' our good name. I'll send you off to auction school then you'll be nobody's fool You can take your place among the best" 35 dollar bidder, now 40 dollar, 40 will he give me 40 Make it 40, bid it up on a 40 dollar, will he give me 40 Who will bid it at a 40 dollar bid? 40 dollar bidder, now 45, will he give me 45 To make it a 45, a bid at a 45, Who will bid it at a 45 dollar bid? So from that boy who went to school, There grew a man who played it cool, He came back home a full fledged auctioneer. And people came from miles around, Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound, That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer. His fame spread out from shore to shore, He had all he could do and more, He had to buy a plane to get around. Now he's the tops in all the land, Let's pause and give that man a hand, He's the best hillbilly auctioneer. 45 dollar bidder, now 50 dollar, 50 will he give me 50 Make it 50, bid it up on a 50 dollar, will he give me 50 Who will bid it at a 50 dollar bid? 50 dollar bidder, now 55, will he give me 55 To make it a 55, a bid at a 55, I sold that hog for a 50 dollar bid.