They say to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France and Jackie's seen in a disco tech doin' a brand new dance and the White House social season should be glittering and gay But here in Topeka the rain is a'fallin' the faucet is a'drippin', and the kids are a'ballin' One of them a'toddlin' and one is a'crawlin And one's on the way I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act While the tv's showin' newly weds, a real fine game to play but here in Topeka the screen doors a'bangin the coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a hangin' One wants a cookie and one wants a changin' and one's on the way Now what was I doing, Jimmy get away from there darn, there goes the phone Hello, honey. What's the you say? You're bringin' a few old army buddies home? You're callin' from a bar? Get away from there. No, not you honey I was talkin' to the baby Wait a minute honey the doorbell Honey? Could you stop at the market and... Hello? Hello? Well, I'll be... The girls in New York City they all march for women's lib and Better Homes And Gardens shows the modern way to live And the pill may change the world tomorrow but meanwhile today here in Topeka the flies are a'buzzin' the dog is a'barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' Lord, one's on the way Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins again [email protected]