I remember quite well The first time I took you home We were so young I didn't think much of you Sure you were cute and full of tricks And a whole lot brighter than a guinea pig But I didn't think much of you back then And I think you loved me first Cause it sure took me a while To figure out That you were kinda special But now you're old and full of ticks And you yell at everybody just for kicks And I wish that you would just shut up Why do you scream at me Why do you scream I don't know why you have to do that Cause things don't seem All that bad to me Oh I'm beggin' you please Baby please don't scream Do you remember that old cat Who beat you up so bad You almost didn't make it I almost couldn't take it But now you're mean and paranoid There's not a piece of this house that you haven't destroyed And I wish that you would just shut up. You know I've loved a lot of men And moved far away from them And I hate to say it But you're my oldest friend And I'm glad you're around Cause you still know how to make my favorite sound But then I wish that you would just shut up.