I'd much rather have frog in my throat then a porcipine stuck to my face I'd much rather have a bug in my ear then a dog makin' love to my leg A girl asks you home to meet Mommy and Daddy she say's she thinks that youre nice but there's trouble ahead and you'll wish you were dead if you don't take this friendly advice Don't pet the dog don't pet him whatever you do 'cause he aint been fixed and he knows some tricks that will sure make a fool out of you don't pet the dog he gets it confused with romance just leave him alone or the next thing you know he'll be asking your ankle to dance you say it's o.k. try to push him away whats's his name does he sit up and beg you try to be cool but you look like a fool with a dog makin' love to your leg Don't pet the dog he'll boo-boo all over your shoes 'cause he aint been fixed and he knows some tricks that will sure make a fool out of you don't pet the dog he gets it confused with romance just leave him alone or the next thing you know he'll be asking your ankle to dance don't pet the dog