Intro Danny Sexbang Princess Peach Won't you listen to my speech I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi Egoraptor What up, bitch I got a one-up, bitch What's inside the question block; it's my dick It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega, if you know what I mean, so suck it Danny Sexbang Mario, you always do this shit I like a girl and then you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away Rachel Bloom Hey Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risqué Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid Danny Sexbang Oh, princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-goddamn it Egoraptor I'm here to pleasure that ass I'd like to go first, princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons are the only Dry Bones I am tired of the running 'round it's such a fucking hassle I go through shit and then you're in another fucking castle You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe Rachel Bloom O-M- I can't decide On which of you should be the guy To take me on your mustache ride That'll redefine my life Rachel Bloom and Danny Sexbang I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you've got I just know I like you a lot Ego Yo, sluts, check out my yacht (Ugh) Danny Let me take you on a magic kart ride Ego I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside Danny We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along Egoraptor I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong Come on, Peach, it's time to make your choice I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice Green, lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me It's time to live out our story, of the princess and the pe-Nis

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