The Suspender Man

One Moonlight Night! Banjo/Accordion intro One moonlight night in the bayou a silhouette The air was sweet and the fog was vi-o-let The gators were all drinking tea, in a dreamy pantsless glee I saw a suspendered man, a banjo holstered in his hands. He had biggest red suspenders I ever did see, golly gee that's what I've seen He flicked the brim of his hat, and this is what he said to me. "Mister robot ah am The Suspender Man And dis banjo 'as shown me dah promised land. Now ah play a song but in return, yoo put dat shiny coin right 'ere in mah urn. And ah play yoo sumfin fine. Mah music gonna blow yo mind!" So I flicked my coin into his pot, I gotta admit it twasn't a lot Two cents and then his fingers wriggled, he plucked those strings and belched a giggle. He tapped his foot, howled like a hound Igniting up the unholy sound. And I ain't never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, heard anything so great. Call the vendors. Big Suspenders. That's what everybody wants to wear. They stretch to Nantucket. Put them in a bucket And send them to the gnome trapped down the well (Tug 'em with thumbs is ideal) (While rollin' back on your heels) (Let ring) (Yeah) He played the two cent show And just like that he stopped playing My jaw dropped to the floor. He cracked his neck and smiled at me, And said, "Buddy, y'gotta pay for more!" But by then a crowd had swarmed the swamp, tossin' coin in after coin. So he cleared his throat, and his fingers writhed, and everyone shouted for Suspender Guy. Call the vendors Big Suspenders That's what grandma wants for her birthday They're bright red and awesome Even worn by opossums Nobody wants their pants to fall down (Ma and Pappy want 'em too) (Even the ghost of your Uncle Stu) (let Ring) (Yeah) He played the two cent show Fracture dat banjo! (Under Banjo Solo) x4 All the children sing and dance Those banjo sounds instill a trance By 4 AM the press what hot Suspender Man on the front page spot Suspenders were in and spats were out The girls all suffered from fainting bouts The banjos flew off the shelves Sprouting wings with dreams of being played by Suspender Man. But in the middle of February the fog turned a crimson red The Suspender Man disappeared, everyone was heels over head But we found his suspenders and that old banjo sittin' right here on his log And though he's gone, that's what he gets for selling his soul to the bog Big Suspenders Put them in a blender Three bat teeth and a blackened gypsy eye Bring it to a boil Release your mortal coil Out pops a belt to wear for you and me- Nobody wants their pants to fall down- You could wear a dress and then...you'd have no need (The alligators had it right) (Wearing pants it sure does bite) (let ring) (Yeah) He played the two cent show...... End..