(verse 1) Mom made beans for dinner You know I ate 'em all She said come get your coat on, we're goin' to the mall Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese While waiting there for Santa, I thought that I'd explode The gas bubble grew bigger with every "Ho, Ho, Ho" Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doing swell N/C But when I sat down on Santa's lap, he hollered "What's that smell!" I farted on Santa's lap, now Christmas is gonna stink for me I farted on Santa's lap, now I'll get *fart* under my Christmas tree (verse 2) I asked him for a baseball I asked him for a bat I asked him for some ice skates but I'll get none of that I asked him for a lot of things I'll have to do without 'Cause when I sat on Santa's lap, I let one slip out (Back to Chorus) (verse 3) On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed without a sound Went down to the living room just to take a look around It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree His arms were full of presents and they were all for me He put them on a pile and got up to turn around And blew a fart with such great force our tree almost came down And so I'll always cherish that special moment when I realized even old Saint Nick rips one now and then I farted on Santa's lap and Christmas didn't stink for me I farted on Santa's lap and Santa left one on my Christmas tree