Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation, In your inability to handle your libation. Go zero to sixty, When you get on the whiskey. Well, used to be a glass of wine an' you'd be fine all evenin'. Now I'm the one who says: "We're done," an' tells us when we're leavin'. Well, I miss the way that it was, Can't even catch a good buzz. 'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home, Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. I don't mean to make you mad, But I don't want that responsibility, An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. Well, I never thought it'd come to this when I said: "Have another." 'Cause, baby, you turned into me, an' I became my mother. Well, here's what I'm thinkin': You're interferin' with my drinkin'. I think I have an answer to our present situation, 'Cause you an' me out on the town's got built in limitations. So let me make this clear: Hey I'm the one who's drinkin' here. 'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home, Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. I don't mean to make you mad, But I don't want that responsibility, An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. I ain't tryin' to ruin your good time. But I damn sure ain't lettin' yours ruin mine. You ain't gonna ruin my good time, baby. I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home, Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. I don't mean to make you mad, But I don't want that responsibility, An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. No, I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me, yeah.