Transcribed by Rob [email protected] Dsus2 = X00230 Cadd9 = X32030 played during spoken part. Yon: Rural Queensland, 1880. Constable Ned Kelly dons his armour and becomes the founding member of the Victorian Police Bomb Squad, pre-dating actual bombs by about 30 years. But history, it seems, would lead you to believe another story. For Constable Ned Kelly made one fatal P.R. error... Tripod: History was not always as it appeared, If you knew the truth about people with beards. Ned wore a helmet to hide his disgrace, To hide his hairy face! Scod: And fifty years have passed and nothing changed, One tiny moustache ruined Stalin's name. Tripod: Poor Chopper Reid's name gets dragged through the mire, But beardless people get away scot-free, Like Eddie McGuire. History was not always as it appeared, If you knew the truth about people with beards. Having a beard left a terrible mark, On Peter Russell-Clarke. Scod: King Arthur'd still be drinking from his magic cup, Why do you think they strung old Jesus up? The Vikings were basically a charity organisation, Rasputin had some brilliant party tricks, Tripod: And the Huns... were fun... Yon: Wil Anderson finally had enough, When he caved in and shaved off his Jazz Tuft, Scod: Jazz Tuft? Yon: That's what it's called. Yon: There's only one instance when it was revered, Was when Nicole Kidman herself was a beard! Tripod: History was not always as it appeared, If you knew the truth about people with beards. Burn all your books, both new and dog-eared, (The line gets stuffed up) Scod: Aww... so close! Tripod: And let's all grow a beard! Yon: Or moustache. & S: And let's all grow a beard! Yon: Or Van Dyke. But not Dick Van Dyke, you know what I mean. & S: And let's all grow a beard! Yon: Or Jazz Tuft.