Gather round, ye children To hear the tale so sweet Of a man who dared to race machines With nothing but his feet With hair of auburn beauty A hero dressed in jeans He's fighting for America Marshall! Versus the machines... Hah! Doom-ba-da-dee-dee-dee-dee-fleegeedoo-flim-flam-doo-da-deegedeedoo As Marshall ran with all his might And passed his friend, Christine He thought of all the times that he had Beaten the machine: He triumphed over Pitfall He vanquished the alarm He brought the jukebox back to life With his Fonzarelli arm Marshall! Versus the machines... Yah! Move along! Yah! Move along! Yah! Our hero's strength was fading fast Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....ed green He then thought back to all the times He'd lost to a machine: The cable box's fearsome bite The stapler's mighty sting The cable box's bite again Getting too tired To sing...