Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend And where'd you get those shoes I think there pretty lame And would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game (Chorus) If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life These are the things you don't say to your wife. (add9) I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday I didn't ask you but I knew it be ok Go fix some dinner while I watch this fishing show I taped it over our old wedding video (Chorus) Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill Happy anniversary I bought you a treadmill (Chorus) If you're a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife, These are the things you don't say to your wife.