Things You Dont Say To Your Wife Tim Hawkins Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end The dress you wear reminds me of my old gir lfriend And where'de you get those shoes i think there pretty lame would you stop t alking 'cause im tr ying to watch the ga me (Chorus) If your a man who w ants to live a long and happy life these are the things yo u don't say to your wife. I planned a hunting trip next week on your b irthday I didn't ask you but i knew i'de be ok Go make some di nner while i watc h this fishin g show I taped it over our old w edding vid eo (Chorus) Your cooking is ok but not like mother mak es The diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill Happy aniver sary i boug ht you a trea dmill (Chorus) If you a man who doesn't want to g et killed with a knife, These are the things you do n't say to your wife.