The smell of water, kids screaming with joy I've hated crap like that since I was a boy While everyone was laughing and having so much fun I would mutter "This sucks" till the day was done I detested most stuff and I still do You see, I hate everything but you I hate the feeling of the sun when it hits my skin I don't like bands with a guy on mandolin I hate when people post their pictures with the hashtag "mood" I hate when people call blueberries a superfood I hate when someone says, "Oooh, it's magic hour!" Or when people actually stop and smell a flower I hate white women who call their engagement rings "bling" Oh yes, I hate everything But you More examples! I hate guys who read magazines devoted to golf Hate Frisbee golf, and when people call Frisbee golf "frolf" I hate when people ask me if I'd ever get a tattoo Hate combination conditioner and shampoo I hate doing The Wave at a baseball game I hate couples with a cutesy couple name I hate when someone says a joke and someone else says, "Zing!" Oh yes, I hate everything But you 'Cause when I look into your eyes and I see you smile When you laugh at yourself and we talk for a while Just for a moment I forget How much I hate it when people say, "Gotta jet!" Even more examples! I hate it when people say they're going "off the grid" Or when someone calls their baseball cap their "lid" I hate models who just happen to date quarterbacks I hate grown men who always quote Caddyshack I hate the phrase "Love conquers all," and I hate that it's true 'Cause I want to not hate things when I'm with you You love so many things and you have so much fun It makes me wish my hating days were done And there's one thing I want you to know: * I'll always hate guys who name their cars